Backstory
Today, I decided to clean my electric fan. I usually do this at least every month or so, when I see that the fan has already accumulated fuzzy dirt which hinders the flow of wind. A clean fan makes summer a little more bearable, and makes the rainy season even colder and relaxing (I like cold).
My boyfriend pointed out that he wants to remove that case of the main machine to clean the machine itself. I asked why. The moment I asked why, my brain also automatically made an answer, which made me regret instantly that I even asked. As expected, well, because that is the main machine.
I suddenly realized that, all the three years, I have been cleaning only the frame and wheel—the outer surface being shown to people. I have been “cleaning” the fan in mediocrity, thinking the fan is clean just because the front is clean. Most of all, I have been focused on the quality and strength of wind being spewed out, not the air being absorbed in.
That is a very important piece of thought. That concept applies to a lot of situations.
We often make ourselves look good for a lot of reasons. It might be because we have to adhere to a certain set of etiquette. Or, we want to please certain people. We might also be hiding something. The thing is, we sometimes focus on what is immediately in front of us, and forget about the core.
Manifestation
Life is full of shit. We are thrown to this life with no choice but to deal with them. Like an electric fan, we absorb what is around us—both necessary and dirt altogether. We filter them—internally—and process them so that they can be useful in real life. We know when we are stressed out, so we take time to relax—going out, bingewatching, exercising, whatever makes us feel better, for the meantime. These activities “detoxify” us. But, how much? We can make ourselves believe that we are getting better. But, the problem still comes back, because we do not address the root problem.
Sometimes, we present ourselves as happy and sociable, but deep inside we are not okay. Maybe we need to conform to an expectation, or we have to appear positive because some people are relying their happiness on us. If we are so skilled at putting up a facade, it is possiible that no one—as in no one—will ever think we were not fine. I am sure you have heard of suicide cases where no one really expected that the person would take their own life, because we never suspected, they never showed signs. Even in the non-extreme cases, you might have experienced someone exploding and no one has an idea that that person has been carrying a burden. We can fake our smiles all we want, but if we do not cleanse our souls, we are still in danger of bursting.
We can stud ourselves with our achievements and prestige. We have an inate nature to chase success. We want to be noticed and valued. We want to be looked upon with respect and awe. Or, we make ourselves too available, and that is what the society regards as good. Underneath all the radiance and authority, we overworked, we burned bridges, we sacrificed things important to us. We might even be relying on too much apparent confidence with our average capabilities. As long as we look great, we are. We can glamourize our persona all we want. Underneath that persona is a damaged anima, confusing success with titles.
I can enumerate even more. There are people who are so well-groomed, but are evil and cunning deep down. We can also appear calm and meek, but we have hidden desires and drives, deep in our unconscious. A lot of products in the online market look classy and official, but have hidden defects that you have to just accept. That concept applies to a lot of situations in the real world. I almost forgot that I am talking merely about an uncleaned dynamo of an electric fan.
I was wondering why my electric fan’s performance has not been good even if I clean every month. Sure, there is a difference between the dirty and clean frame and wheel. But, not so much. But today, the wind was stronger and more satisfying. There is also the perception of betterness, because I know I cleaned the machine. Guys, I cleaned the machine, be proud of me.
Conclusion
We should stop applying band-aid solutions to our problems. We explode, suddenly get sick, get mental blocks, spill secrets, spout offensive things unintentionally, because we keep confusing ourselves that we are okay and we leave our insides polluted. We so often ignore our inner cries because we confuse ourselves with society’s standards. Before we please anyone else, we are our own human first. Remember,
Lastly, I really like this Simpsons meme:
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