One lie counts as one problem, no matter how big or small. One lie also deserves one solution. So when someone betrays us big-time once, we get hurt big-time, and we seek one big-time resolution as well. Take note, we seek one big-time resolution. It’s either we give them a chance to fix the damage or we leave them altogether. We just give one chance to make amends, and if all goes right, we gradually close the gap between us. Or, our tolerance could just be enough for that one betrayal, so we walk away, and that in itself is our solution.
But when the lies are small, frequent, unnoticed, and tolerated, each of them make a crack on us—independent cracks. They might coincide with other lies or attack us at different aspects of our lives. Then, there’s that one lie which unintentionally exposes itself, and the other prior (and future) lies become exposed as well. We don’t always have the time to attend to solving problems concerning our emotions. Unfolding each lie is exhausting, let alone fixing them. Again, each lie counts as one problem, so each lie demands one solution, no matter how big or small. So, there are those unnoticed damage, the stress caused by discovering the silent lies, and the volume of solutions necessary which overwhelms us. Hence, most of the time, this kind of conflict is more irreparable.
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