There is one word that keeps disturbing my inner peace lately.
Schadenfreude.
\ˈshä · dǝn · ˌfroi · dǝ\
\SHA-dn-FROI-dh\
Quizzers know this word by technicals. It is one of the interesting words we used to learn because our instincts used to tell us that this word would likely appear in the quiz bees. Schadenfreude is one of the many foreign words which have no direct single-word English translation. Not even "guilty pleasure" stands at par.
Schadenfreude is a German word which literally means "harm joy". It is a complex emotion—a joy or pleasure obtained from knowing the suffering of someone else. Schadenfreude does not require that a personal benefit arrives to make a person happy—only the suffering of another.
Such a word exists? Why would it not? It is almost hypocritical to say one has not ever experienced being happy at someone else's mishap, not even once. Schadenfreude exists among the family, friends, workplace, organizations, show business, politics, sports, or even between most unrelated people. Most of the time, we just conceal the feeling.
Examples
It is the delight of a student, knowing that his/her classmate, who did not let him/her copy homework or who refused to teach him/her the missed lessons when he/she was sick, failed. It is the joy of a hater, when a celebrity, who recently spoke of an unpopular opinion the hater did not agree with, broke up with his/her partner. It is basically the happiness of a sports team, when their rival team's star player gets injured and thus they lose the championship game. It is the pleasure of seeing your crush and his/her partner fight and scream at each other. You know, all those malignant grins we try to conceal. Even though we know they are sometimes wrong, we just can't help but feel happy about other people's misfortune.
What it reveals
Schadenfreude is not immoral per se, nor automatically cruel. We can let that emotion be just that—a mere emotion, outside the bounds of definition of right or wrong. It is more important to understand what it tells about us and how it affects our perspective.
Our level of Schadenfreude may indicate our inferiority. A person who feels inferior normally harbors greater envy or greed, which translates to malicious pleasure at some point. This is because the person is constantly threatened by other people or outside forces he/she thinks are greater than him/her. This inferiority might be subconscious—one does not need to specifically label people as threats or to be able to define his fears. On the other hand, a person who is more confident about him/herself tend to recognize lesser threats and materials of envy or greed. Thus, whether another person succeeds or fails, if the outcome does not affect the confidence of the person, he/she will not care, and will have lesser or no chances of Schadenfreude.
It may also indicate our sense of justice. Another common type of Schadenfreude is when the one who experiences it justifies the feeling through thinking that the misfortune is deserved. It may be because of the other person's past unpunished misconduct, so there is that "winner" feeling when the same person receives misfortune, even if unrelated to the past unpunished misconduct.
Right or wrong
Schadenfreude is okay, but addiction to it is wrong. In fact, it is dangerous, as any other kind of addiction is. Imagine a person addicted to Schadenfreude, and suddenly he/she cannot find a situation to satisfy his/her lust for the feeling. He/She might just create damage or harm to someone else just so he/she can have something to laugh about.
While Schadenfreude is not "right or wrong", inflicting actual malice on another person is morally and ethically wrong. When malice leaves the head and is actualized, through hurtful actions or words, it ceases to be just a cool German word for a natural emotion. It can even become a crime, such as libel.
It is definitely not something to be proud of. You can keep the feeling as you please, treasure or even celebrate it, as long as you keep it to yourself. Schadenfreude is not as regular as crying or getting angry, which are both "not something to be proud of" but are both emotions seeking resolution, that's why they are normal to be expressed. On the other hand, Schadenfreude being expressed does not solve anything nor contribute good—it even inflicts harm and disrespect instead—that's why expressing it can never be normalized at the societal level.
Take note that Schadenfreude is already normalized at personal level and is recognized as a natural psychological behavior—and that is enough. We are allowed to experience Schadenfreude, but no need to express it. In fact, don't.
The biggest and most obvious reason is that, Schadenfreude is translating someone's sadness into your happiness, which means that you are harvesting something that is not your own plant. Your life is yours, and other people's lives are theirs. All of us need to respect each other, no matter how we perceive each other. That's why in times of Schadenfreude, be quiet and focus on what the feeling brings you, while respecting the other person.
How it should be handled
The key rule is focusing on your self-awareness. Think about what the feeling highlight inside you. Does it flatter you? Does it satisfy you? Does it reveal your desires? Does it justify your reasons? Does it validate your characteristics? Does it improve or motivate you? Or does it bloat your hatred?
The best use of Schadenfreude awareness is to understand your own psyche. Any feeling can be constructive or destructive, depending on how the person nurtures and reaps it—even happiness can be negative when not handled properly. Just remember to use this to understand yourself—not to pull others down.
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