If I Ever Had the Chance the Change that Decision

Parameter For an instant, I saw a spark had flown. But I chose to ignore. I have been fed up of too much romance from animé, manga and novels, that one spark has merely no effect. I have seen so many friends who risked to become lovers, only to be broken in the end. That has happened to me once, and I swore it will happen never again. Days passed, and just like soldering iron, the spark multiplied. Memories fluttered from the back of my mind to the front of my retina, blocking my vision… I thought it was A spark, and ONLY ON THAT INSTANT. I was wrong. They started from the memories, underneath the smiles, between the lines, hidden in jokes of others. It was just a common teenage thing. Everyone at this age should have experienced at least once in their life that they think someone likes them. So, I created an operation to confirm the situation. For ninety-nine days, I must observe; and on the hundredth day, I should ask the question. Contrary, in the middle of the process, I realized that it is not right to doubt other people’s kindness. It occurred to me that maybe those “sparks” I saw were just glue to tighten our friendship. So, the operation was forgotten. But, what if asking you never crossed my mind? Choice A We were friends to start with. Good friends, right? There were ups and downs, mostly ups. Our bond was always improving. But, is friendship all we can ever have? “LOL nope”. For an instant, I saw a spark had flown. For an instant, then it grew, gradually. Maybe you were unconscious, or maybe I was just wishfully thinking. But there was something. I noticed, and I waited… for three months. Outcome 1 Do you believe in the three-month rule? You should have realized it now that three months have passed. I thought we could be something else better than friends. WAIT… I suddenly got confused—what are you to me? What was I expecting, for us to be lovers? Anyway, I was only a friend to you. Nothing more, nothing less. Good thing I did not tell anybody. Good thing I kept it all to myself. Nothing was ever realized, nothing was ever materialized, nothing was ever actualized. What a humiliation it would have been! Maybe I was just imagining things. The sparks I saw were only seen by myself and no one else. I was just imagining things, and nothing else. So, pardon my line of thinking. Pardon for what? You never knew. I never told you. Outcome 2 I was accustomed to reading sweet morning greetings every day, but this time it was different. The message was different. So, I answered to your plea. Let us meet and talk this afternoon. Family problem? Inferiority complex? Or were you just seeking for some advice? I wish you had told me what you wanted to talk about was, so I could at least condition my mindset. And for a moment, I remembered that I was silently waiting for three months. Could it be? And it was a great surprise, for it was. Look at yourself—holding a wispy rose with both your hands, looking at your feet, and making a face which cannot be fully comprehended as a smile or embarrassment. Look at yourself, you look like an idiot on a stage for world-class pianists. What are you trying to… oh, of course, the atmosphere, I understand. I completely understand. That was what I have imagined, for imagining is all I can do. One parameter resulted to two choices, one choice resulted to two possible outcomes. As a writer, I have the power to create all the situations I can make. I can manipulate the existing choices, I can add more possibilities, or I can draw a branch of all the outcomes that may arise. I chose Choice B. I took the courage to ask. And, now that all has been done, if I ever had the chance to change that decision, I will still do what I did. Life is full of choices. I chose to confront you, to face you, to ask you instead of waiting—therefore, the other choice will remain a mystery. But I guess, I chose the better end—for I prefer to let it be a mystery than this relationship we are sharing. Now, I will forever wonder about the other track, for "two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."