I Should Have Never Gotten Too Close

I thought it was fine to get close to the fire. The fire was so warm that I feel alive. I thought I should just have to spare a small amount of space between us, the least distance to not catch the flame. But it only needed a small undetected movement of 0.0001 centimeter off-guard by I that made me regret my negligence.

I thought not catching the flame was enough. I though hurt was all about the physical friction between I and it. But the heat was too ignorant of my existence near it, anyway. My surface endured the force of it protecting itself using heat, not knowing that it was what attracted me in the first place. Even if I stood farther by 1 meter from the minimum distance from it, I would still be hypnotized by its radiance. I would still stand still and let myself be weakened by the heat, until I can be flicked by any passerby.

But I could never leave it. I only should have not stood very close.

I should have never got too close. If only I kept a safe distance, I would not have been split into two. If only I took steps backwards when I knew I needed to, I would not have been burnt by the heat of the sun. If only I shielded myself and ran away, I would not have been cut and wounded.

If only I avoided being hurt, I would have never known the pleasure of loving without minding if I get hurt or loved.

It was either "I should have never gotten too close", or " I would have never known".

First published as a photo poetry in The CBA Newsline page