We Fall in Love with Small Consistent Gestures Rather than One Sparkly Encounter
- sbjct
- Nov 14, 2020
- 2 min read
I believe we don’t “fall in love at first sight”. Rather, we “notice someone”, get interested, and that’s when we start exploring them. You like that classmate or workmate of yours, but are you in love? Not necessarily.
This is something I always notice in animé and manga—the way someone confesses should be coherent with their level of interaction. When the context is “like”, it usually means that they are first interested in the other person and would like to know better through dating. When the context is “love”, this usually happens mid-story, when they have already built up subtle memories together, because they have known the other person enough. It shows, every time. The difference of like and love is that, “like” is that excitement we get in that one sparkly encounter, while “love” is that force will pulls us into actually falling in love.
Another example, our biases. When we first see them, we don’t “stan” them after seeing them once or twice. We don’t stan them just because they are handsome/pretty in our criteria. We first get interested due to whatever trigger, be it their face, their voice, etc. Then, we explore them. We read articles about them, we watch videos about them, we watch their fancams, we follow them on social media—those are the things which make us adore them. Our adoration manifests through our ability to defend them from bashers, or introduce them to someone who has never known them before, or just discuss them with other fans.
Relationships last long, not because they are sustained by grand gifts and anniversaries, but because both parties consistently understand each other even if it is mundane. Those little gestures of asking how the day went, sharing food, taking turns to pay bills, being that shoulder to cry on, etc. strengthen the emotional bond between two people more than a house and lot dowry can ever make you agree to marry someone. Also, marriages last long because both parties stay in love and work together, not because they spent some millions for their wedding ceremony.
As the saying goes, “Love me little, love me long.”
Comments