I happen to see "delayed gratification" a lot these days. Among the many things it means, this concept tells us to resist temptation today as we expect something bigger in the future.
Deferral of gratification has many benefits, which include strengthened patience, increased focus on priorities, and prolonged availability of funds, among others.
Gratification is a product of need. We all have an instinct to find or create pleasure to satisfy needs. Not everyone can defer pleasure, even if they want to. So from a perspective, the ability to defer gratification can be a privilege of maturity—financial, emotional, intellectual.
Financially-mature people can avail retirement plans even if it's an expense. They can defer pleasure, because their basic needs have already been fulfilled. People who make ends meet every single day have to prioritize food on the table—pension is worthless if we die of hunger today.
Emotionally-mature people can keep silent relationships, even if there's no frequent benefit. They can defer pleasure, because their need for belongingness has already been fulfilled. People who are emotionally-deprived would seek people who can gratify them immediately and would also cast away people who cannot.
Intellectually people can bear the pain of seeking truth and knowledge. They can defer pleasure, because their esteem and undertstanding of the self are already fulfilled. People who lack experience have the tendency to grab anything that makes sense at the moment, or even steal ideas if it can make them feel smart about themselves immediately.
It is important to understand that the ability to delay gratification is not something which can be activated on demand. We have to reach a certain level of maturity in different aspects. Or better say, a certain level of security and assurance that something worth waiting for is not going to impede or impair our present status. Yes, fantacizing something great is one thing, but protecting the current reality is another. Some people do not have much aces to gamble, and we have to understand that.
I believe that there is a balance between delayed and immediate gratification. Things worth celebrating can be celebrated as they arrive. Situations which do not require immediate gratification can be deferred.
Both are important.
Before we defer our gratification, may we be able to build the safety nets to keep us at peace. May we soon feel secure, so that we can be able to work for and look forward to bigger things.
May we be able to start learning to defer pleasure for a greater purpose. And while we are treading through the hardships, may we be reminded to celebrate the little things.
May we never be too blinded by immediate pleasure, and may we never be too obsessed with working hard. May we find the balance in between, and achieve our goals in our pace.
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